And dumbing themselves down for approval, generally. I had a friend 30 years or so ago, who was a pretty attractive blonde. She was also a lesbian. This was a platonic friendship, she had no interest in men, and I had no issue with that. I was on good terms with her girlfriend as well.

What was strange about my friend was that she was highly intelligent and articulate, but would only let people she trusted see that side of herself. In the presence of people she did not know well, she spoke and behaved like an ignoramus. Her girlfriend even asked me if I had noticed that behavior, and I said, "Yeah, what's up with that?"

When I was alone with this woman, we had some really good conversations, but when other people were present, she came off like an idiot. I always thought that was sad. It was as though she had bought into that stereotype that to be liked, she had to dumb herself down.

Being lesbian, it was not a ploy to attract men, either, but it always seemed a pity that she would not let new acquaintances see the intelligent, articulate person her friends knew her to be.